do you know what the second “F” stands in BFF? yeah, it means “forever”; and you’re locked in.

To have a wicked squad of girl friends [ with a space in the middle of girl and friend, not some weird orgy type deal!! ] is probably pretty rad. However, there is just something distinctively comforting about a companionable FRIENDSHIP with a guy [ as a girl ]. Nothing more and nothing less. Even though you possibly get mistaken for their girlfriend every now and again, and they probably know more about you than any of your girl friends [ countless amount of TMI, and lady information they never even knew ]; you wouldn’t trade that male friendship for the world. These friendships actually last, with no absolutely ridiculous fights. [ BFFL friendships with a woman should come with rule books and instructions; sometimes or always, you decide ].

NOTE: I am not talking about those girls who have Facebook pictures of them surrounded by men [ #nightoutwiththeguys; *barf*, we all know that she is looking for ] ; the men that change every year but it is still the same girl pictured but I am talking about the boundary known friendships; between a guy and a girl, nothing sexual. Just a girl with a guy friend; its possible, trust me. [ crazy hey?!; high school lied to you all along ] You know these girls and so do I. But sometimes we tend to just crown them as dishonest or advise others to stay away from them; there is a lot of slut shaming with this specific topic. Its really not about understanding women or not getting along with women.

Me?; Having guy friends is NOT about hating women. But I’ve always avoided the groups of girl friends because it always ends in tears, drama, cat fights and betrayal. [ boo, high school life ] But don’t get me wrong I do have my extremely close girl friends who I trust with my LIFE but here’s why I [ personally ] avoid surrounding myself with a group of girl friends.

There are girls who have one or two other females that they occasionally spend time with and talk to but for the most part, they seem to manage better relationships with the male species; less mental efforts. Ask these girls their reason behind better friendships with guys and you’d probably get a response of: “There is less petty drama.” Or “I just don’t relate to other girls”. [ I am one of these girls, no shame here ] Its not that all guys can relate in every instance, they just are less opinionated it seems [ I am all about the easy route ]. Girls will just sit and nod and maybe shed a tear or two if you present a problem when tears are needed and when you’re done, they will find a way to strike up a conversation about their own issues or coincidentally turn your problem into theirs. Guys have opinions but it is in such measures we can tolerate for some odd reason, we accept them. [ girls are catty. ] Guys can shrug things off easier; girls are always in competition [ good and bad, but always ]. Girls are constructed different from guys. Guys won’t try to scheme and develop a plot of revenge for you but instead choose the path of least drama which works out for the best. Girls can be cruel and manipulative especially if they see you as a threat, best friend or not. [ When it comes to competition, girls definitely take the cake and eat it too ]. Some girls don’t see eye to eye with other girls, but it may not be her fault; it could be that other girls are simply not respectable to her.

It doesn’t mean that girls with guys friends like every guy they hang out with. Just because you are a straight [ married ] woman hanging out with straight men doesn’t mean you want to have sex with them. [ You want to have sex with them about as much as you want to have sex with your female friends or your gay friends, which is usually not at all or at least not enough to hurt the friendship. ] No one seems to understand this and are quick to judge, and in some aspects, I get it; it’s a rare thing to be able to be friends with someone of the opposite sex and not want to have sex them at some point. Regardless, it IS true that there are some straight male/female relationships that are very simply nonsexual, and will never lead to sex [ and if it did, they’ve talked about it and it was vetoed out ]. Those are the ones where there’s zero attraction, and infinity friendship. There are those girls out there that want to know that they are acceptable to the opposite sex. There could be various reasons why she may want this, but whatever the reason, she seems to long for a man’s acceptance and approval; what better than to befriend the opposite sex. These girls are usually extremely insecure or the jealous type, and its quite possible that that is the reason why most girls don’t like them, [ they can sense the attention she desperately wants from certain men, or see the potential of further consequences down the road ]. There shouldn’t be any attention seeking motives with these relationships; DON’T USE PEOPLE, PEOPLE. [ but hey, I ain’t no expert, to each their own; whatever works for you ].

But let’s face it, guys are by far way less moody than girls. Its not always a bitch fest, gossiping or complaining in conversation at all times. Whether it is opinions about politics, the latest trending song or what they think about someone hooking up with someone else, guys will only tell you what they think when asked, otherwise you can just walk all over them with your conversation topics. They are there to listen, not to make an opinionated statement to every topic brought up. [ Girls basically are like wolves seeking their prey when it comes to the latest gossip or drama ]. Some girls who have guy friends tend to be interested in what guys talk about, some can hold their liquor, some enjoy watching sports and are generally into the “guy stuff.” It goes both ways in saying that it is fun to have someone so different yet so similar to themselves, a different perspective. Some girls need those certain confidants who can accept her rough edges; and they need that type of confidence that can secure her.

In a friendship, you shouldn’t have to try; and if you do, it should be made from both ends. The minimal effort guys make it to with hold a friendship, takes away half the battle to begin with.

Girls love this idea of starting conversations with juicy information. Trying to get a girl friend to keep a secret is near impossible, it always seems to slip up somewhere. With guys, this is highly unlikely. They have no interest in spreading gossip, they barely question it; its better off unknown a lot of the time but for you; they listen. With that being said, they make the best secret holders. You can tell them anything in the world and rest assured that it won’t come back to you or bite you in the ass [ also because they have probably forgot ]. When you think about it, you’ve probably gone through dozens of different girl friends to the handful of guy friends that have stuck around. But for the most part, girl friendships can ultimately be very temporary, but the most damaging. They usually suit your needs at that time or year, high school, certain jobs or trends, relationships or life changes. Guy friends are stable and everlasting. They will never leave you, even when you are bat shit crazy. [ There is some solid girl friendships out there, shout out to you gals! ]

A man’s mentality is brutally honest; [ not in a hurtful way; but they will say it as it is ] they will tell you look ridiculous when you do, they don’t just say something so that they don’t hurt your feelings. You wore an outfit twice, you had your hair messy bun all week; guess what? They don’t care; they probably didn’t even notice. Guys won’t roll their eyes at you or talk about you when you leave the room or when you aren’t around. A girl has a million and one layers but everything is on one level for a guy; they’re straightforward and to the point. [ easy peasy ] Guys are infamous for getting over things within a matter of seconds; even if you want them to remember. It’s kind of strange but extremely refreshing. Catty girl friends will hold grudges and flash a passive aggressive attitude for weeks on end; even when you think it is over. [ all over the most pointless and silly things ] But it seems as though guys are incapable of doing this, and it makes your life so much easier. Guys will give you that perspective that no girl ever could. Only they know what boys are actually thinking. [ and most of the time they are clueless to the girls’ perspective; and when its shared, its surprising to them ]. Even though they don’t quite understand everything you go through; its not really their fault. They won’t understand PMS but are curious if its brought up, and their relationship advice is sometimes irrelevant. They care and they’ll try but sometimes you need your girl friends because they just don’t get it, at all; your guy friends genuinely want the best for you. They will go to lengths to ensure that you accomplish what you want and support you in doing so.

A friendship with a group of girls is fragile; there WILL always be drama, tears and complications; because essentially if you have an issue, another girl within the group will have the same issue, maybe its even escalated. They always seem find the silliest of reasons to get annoyed and give you the cold shoulder; its like a game of Guess Who? you don’t want to be playing.

When you have a really wicked friendship with a guy; they will be your bodyguard, pin cushion and best friend for life. If you need them, they’ll be there. Despite all of this, I do cherish the one or two girl friends that I will cherish until the end of my days. And they know who they are. A true girl friend is loyal, trustworthy, honest, supportive and incredibly rare so when you do get the chance to snag one or two true friends, don’t let the opportunity pass you by.

#youknowwhoyouare

 

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