Boy: “I wished girls liked sports.”
Girl: “I like sports.”
Boy: “Oh yeah, name the blood type of the Seahawks head coach from the 1990s.”
RELAX! No one [ men included ] should have to pass a test to enjoy sports. *insert eye roll*
I am asking every passive-aggressive man on this planet to please, take a seat and count to ten before interrogating a girl you see paying attention to sports. Just because someone who is a girl likes sports, it doesn’t mean that she’s in it just for the cute guys in tight pants aspect. Also, if we DO comment on the hot factor of a player, don’t let that over thrown our genuine interest in the game itself. Multitasking: We know how to do it, its in our nature. We might be hiding some hardcore fandom within us, but this is a sporting event, not brain surgery; It’s okay to have fun about it.
For most, when the outdoor weather seasons change; it also cues the start of hockey season, MLB playoffs, CFL playoffs and the [ overwhelming ] NFL season. [ and yes I know what all of those are. ] SPORTS. Do you think sports are that hard to follow? As a woman, do your makeup every day? Well that is probably just as complicated but way more underwhelming; and quite frankly the outlines and trends of makeup are always changing, rules and regulations of hockey, baseball, basketball or football aren’t. You don’t know how much “like other girls” I actually am. If you insist on protecting the stereotype of “normal girls” as being catty, makeup-obsessed, bitchy, annoying people, at least don’t assume that me liking sports means that I’m not also those things. I might be and probably am! When you say this, you are assuming that you know everything about me based on one piece of information, and are letting me know the kind of unfair clichés about women you uphold. And I am not here for any of that.
Women like sports and can enjoy the game just as much as the next rowdy bunch in the bar, shocking I know. With that being said we don’t need to know all the stats, credentials and contracts of every single player; we barely keep up with the names. Just because we are kind of intrigued not totally devoted to all the ball fetching, puck shooting games; doesn’t mean we can’t say we like sports. [ I am sure there are some die hard sports loving women out there but that doesn’t include the whole entire population of females ]. A lot of women are clueless of sports, no idea what is even going on in the game; and most likely doesn’t even know when the game is on in the room they are sitting in, [ but they can tell you how many times the guy across the room blinked her way ]. [ Faking orgasms is one thing. But faking fandom? That would take some pretty convincing shrieks and way too much effort ]. Some of us, kind of sort of know the basics of what we are watching and will enjoyably watch the games but I don’t really need to endure skill testing questions to prove my loyalty to the game. Because nine chances out of ten after that game is over, I will never speak of that game again. I watch sports, I know what I need to know about the game but I don’t need to broadcast it.
Female sports fans aren’t as of a rare species as you think; we aren’t unicorns [ but they seem to be a popular demand when they do enjoy sports ], and we know when you are talking down to us because you don’t see us as equally informed to the objectives in front of us on the television. We hear the same unwarranted explanations of things we already know usually, and if you keep having to explain what an offside is to a girl, chances are; she isn’t there for the sports game. [ Even if she is in fact pretending to know who Lebron is so you think she’s cool, if that is the case; go along with it and stop cock-blocking yourself ].
Oh, THAT’S what that line on the field means! [ Are you for real? Thanks tips. ] When a girl is into a game, and knows the rules it’s insulting to have a man stoop down to explain things about it. She will ask if she needs an explanation. Yes, women are as capable of having a grasp on and knowledge of sports games as much as men have [ and when we do ask questions we want the answer to every why and what all the possibilities are ]. Ever tried thoroughly explaining the concept of “downs” in football? The pick-off in baseball? Intentional fouls in basketball? Offsides in hockey or soccer? It’s an excruciatingly painful task to some, though, if you have a sports-loving girl sitting next to you, chances are your life has just got easier.
This is not to say that female sports fans are never open to flirting [ NOT ALL ], but expressing interest in sports is hardly a summoning call for male attention. Also, please consider the timing of your small talk. The quickest way to get dismissed is to start using pickup lines while your team is inches from the goal line. [ And not every woman is attracted to men; that and she may be able to kick your ass at your own game. Watch yourself ]. By the way, I totally recognize that “not all men” and I’m sure you in particular speak to female sports fans condescendingly. Just because you haven’t personally committed or witnessed it, doesn’t mean it isn’t something we experience on a regular basis.
My husband is incredibly lucky that I have grasped every concept he has thrown at me about sports, I enjoy the entertainment in almost all of the games. And before him, I knew a puck was for hockey, anything else was beyond me. But he isn’t just lucky for my sports interest. [ I’m smart and beautiful and have a wonderful sense of humor and I’m kind and ambitious and loyal and fun to be around; now you can be jealous ]. The fact that I am into sports is simply one of a million things that makes up who I am, and that itself does not make me a more or less of an awesome wife. Liking sports is no more impressive than liking celebrity news or getting your nails done. It’s like enjoying reading or yoga or drawing or any other kind of leisure activity. It’s just another thing a woman enjoys, and there’s no need to act like it’s the bravest, most unbelievable thing she’s ever achieved, ESPECIALLY when you don’t treat any of her other personal pleasures that way.
My solution to this entire useless predicament is let’s just all learn a lesson in moderation and minding our own business and just have some serious quiet time to the subject before you speak. Listen men, and I’m going to speak for all female sports spectators here: we do not watch games to impress you. If we wanted to be goal seeking in the male department, trust me; we wouldn’t have to try that hard to get to where we are going. [ but lets not go there ] And please tell me why is no one ever as shocked to meet a dude who doesn’t like sports? Please explain. Actually, don’t, just stop.
[ Can you feel my eyes rolling throughout this post? Good, just making sure. ]
[ don’t mind my double chins, 4 weeks postpartum! ]