“Just ignore it”, “they are just jealous”, this is what most people have told me when I was being bullied; [ JEALOUS OF WHAT?!?! ] what use is this to us when you’re hurting and it’s all making you feel bad about yourself? “Tell someone” is sometimes good advice but what about if the said person doesn’t do anything? What if you’ve already told someone and it just got worse, you’re still being attacked? What then? If you’re being bullied, you’re not the only one. I promise you. Tell someone, tell someone you trust; even though this is easier said than done.
The reason people are the victim of bullying is not because of their sexuality, gender identity, race, appearance, disability or any other unique factor a person is gifted with; [ even though in some cases these are some of the reasons] it is because of the attitude towards the situation; how people see the world, and specifically these reasons. Everyone’s opinion the only thing possible to change is attitudes. The person who is bullying you is the one with the issue, not you.
If you are being bullied, please do not be a victim, you are NOT the problem.
Bullying is a behavior that is learned. There are several reasons why people bully others; more often than not, bullying can be a coping mechanism for people who are going through a stressful situations and it may be learned from abuse or bias attitudes towards certain people and things learned at home. Often people who bully are currently or have at some point been bullied themselves. Other reasons for bullying include jealousy and insecurity. No matter what the reason, no reason is justified, and no reasons are by any means are acceptable.
Throughout ALL my high school years I was bullied to the extreme. [ or back then it seemed like the extreme, but I can only say that now because I do not tolerate those people now; I have learned to stand up for myself. ] I felt attacked every day, and I still remember it all to this day. It has made me a little bit eerie as a grown woman, and even a mother, not going to lie. Bullying of any sort is something you can’t just forget once the person walks away from the attack. [ if you are even lucky it only happens once ] You remember everything they say, everything they attacked you for and you definitely don’t forget how you felt in that very moment and there on after. Whether what they are saying is true or not, you really never forget. When you finally think you move on, you have a flashback or just a bad memory of what has happened to you and you resort to hiding behind yourself. Guarding yourself from nothing; inexplicable nonsense.
Bullying can lead to serious long-lasting problems. The pressure of being in a continuous approach of being upset or having fears can lead to problems with your mood, energy level, sleep, and appetite. [ guilty ] It also can make someone feel constantly anxious, or upset. If someone is already depressed or anxious, cyber bullying can just make things worse.
Bullying is an epidemic that needs to be focused on more, but importantly it needs to STOP; and when there is someone who reaches out to us, to anyone, WE NEED TO LISTEN; we need to be there for them. It may not be a big deal to us, but to them it’s one of the biggest ordeals. It can stop their world. [ trust me. ] Those being bullied are afraid; so they don’t want to do anything about it but feel worse and worse on the inside. There is no reason for anyone to suffer in silence. With this day and age we have also added awful technology to the mix; using online threats, rude or aggressive texts, instant messages or using personal information against other people to embarrass them; THIS ALL COUNTS AS BULLYING. [ behind a computer you are not tough, you are weak. ] People use the technology to their advantage with bullying because it is hard to trace [ not impossible though ], and by the time it is caught; half the world has already seen it. Because of the role technology plays in our lives, there is often no place to hide from bullies. Online bullying can happen at home and school. Bullying and harassment done online can be easier to commit than other acts of bullying because the said bully doesn’t have to confront his or her target in a physical presence. [ You can never remove all online information, its always somewhere. ] People are haunted by online victimization. Sometimes, they might not know what’s being said behind their backs or where the meanness is coming from; all because someone some where started some nonsense for their own entertainment. Let me tell you, entertainment is not hurting other people; in any way, shape or form.
Sometimes, what seems like harassment may be accidental. The nature of text messages, posts, and other ways of communicating online means it can be hard to figure out if someone is joking or not. Sarcasm isn’t the easiest to read. The people doing the bullying often know they’ve crossed a line, too. It’s not a one-time joke or insult; it’s constant harassment and threats that go beyond typical fun teasing or a nasty comment made in anger; escalating as they go. Ignoring the ruthless people in this world is probably the best way to take away their initial power, but it isn’t always easy to do; in the real world or online.
If something is in the least way upsetting, directed at you; walk away, stay away for a while. Find something to distract yourself from what is going on. Do something you love, something that doesn’t give you time to think about what is happening. [ go for a run, chat with a sibling, play with a pet or immerse yourself in a book or movie. ] As much as technology is consuming us, taking a break allows us to keep things into perspective; focusing on the good things in life and it also gives us time to figure out how to handle the difficult times we may face. Use the good people you know.
Resist the urge to retaliate or respond to these buttheads, they are everywhere. And once we give them a response it just makes them eager to find a bigger motive to keep going. Walking away or taking a break when you’re faced with any bullying, gives you some space so you won’t be tempted to fire back a response or engage with the bully or bullies. Responding when we’re upset can make things worse. [ Standing up to a bully can be effective sometimes, but it’s more likely to provoke the person and escalate the situation ] Taking a break gives the power back to you!
But to the person being harassed or bullied, there’s no real difference, it’s painful to go through, no matter what you call it. Stand against it.