This is a very triggered post.
[ One, Two, Three, Breathe ]
[ Sex ] The truth is that not many people wanna hear about it, and if someone wants to know, you decide what to do, but there is a time, place and proper context. It has been pointed out many times, what you do now holds no value 10 years down the road; it doesn’t make you a king or a queen [ sorry all your trophies actually mean absolutely nothing ]. Most adults get to a point in their life where they realize that whoever they’re encountering is probably not a virgin. [ don’t even get me started on virginity ] That realization comes with accepting the fact that, as a red-blooded grown up, they’ve probably encountered multiple sexual experiences from good to bad. But as ADULTS we don’t go around sharing every spec. of information we have about our personal lives, we don’t need to compare with others. [ No! Just no! ] There is no right way or wrong way to this, there is no normal or a gold standard when it comes to frequency of sex in intimate relationships, or just sex at all. WE JUST ALL DON’T NEED TO KNOW THE DETAILS! [ especially the cocky comments about whomever doing whatever ] In a casual every day conversation, you should be asking about the weather; not someone’s damn sex life. Some couples have a lot of sex, some couples have a little sex, some couples don’t have sex for years, and many people lie about sex. Some people have been damaged because of sexual encounters [ abuse and assault ] I understand that everyone may quite possibly become a sexual human being in life. But it shouldn’t be this hard to project our own attitudes and perceptions of sex.
I get that some girls have made a bad name for themselves. I get that people like to talk. I get that some girls just want everyone to like them and the best way to do that in their eyes, is to be ‘easy’. BUT NOT EVERY DAMN GIRL IS LIKE THIS. I know people like to make a name for themselves but sometimes, people need to shut their mouths. I don’t care who people are talking about, what they are talking about or how it was brought up. Just stop. People shouldn’t be so damn invested in other people’s personal lives. [ like isn’t trying to organize your own life hard enough work, never mind someone else’s? and keeping your information straight! ] Either that or people shouldn’t be so open with all the dirty little secrets they have or have accomplished. Modesty and having morals are GREAT things, things that were sent out the window with this generation of humans, I swear.
This is all coming from someone who was brutally bullied in high school for rumors not even close to the truth. [ the things said, never happened ] From someone who everyday, heard another story about themselves, again, not even remotely true. All because I wouldn’t put myself out there for guys and people were jealous. I didn’t give people a chance or even my time of day; why the hell would I? When I knew the result would just be a trophy on their shelves, unwanted shared information, and a story spreading like rapid fire [ the most wicked popularity contest; again, wicked witch wicked, not cool ]. No matter what you say, someone repeats it, then everyone knows. [ and the most horrible information is believed ]
I get that not everyone is like this, but I am seeing an abundance of guys and gals that just don’t get it, EVERYDAY. I constantly have to tell people to keep their conversations to themselves, or not near the public’s knowing [ Nobody wants to know about someone else’s sex life, or who did who at what party… those conversations should STAY where they happened ]
Girls don’t answer the same way as guys do when it comes to personal issues and events; and its not even just the issues. [ I mean, maybe some do, but those girls are questionable human beings ] It’s the information shared. To [ most ] guys, its just another notch in the stick [ not literally speaking ]. Some girls care; because they have SOME morals. Some girls don’t care and choose to be sleazy [ whatever makes ya sleep at night.. or not ]. Its either one end of the spectrum or the other. And if its neither of those attention seekers, you probably are the b*itch spreading useless information about people you know nothing about [ judge me, I DARE you ]. Its really sad, life is hard as it is and a lot of peers choose to live their own life while trying to control another. A lot of it is in the youth/teenagers we surround ourselves with. Every. Little. Bit. of information is shared, and by the time it comes back to the specific person involved about whatever it might be; the story has changed, and it has nothing close to the truth in it and people become damaged because of it. It is belittling as a female to have guys AND girls wandering around talking the shit they do. [ whether it is about me or not ] It is a harsh reality of the world we live in.
[ a recent experience with this exactly, has triggered the f*ck out of me and gave me an excuse to write angry; so bare with me ] *breathe*
There is the attention a girl gets when she is good looking, and is noticed when she walks in the room; being thoroughly enjoyed as a human being. There is the attention a girl gets when she has slept with everyone; everyone has gotten a turn and everyone has something to say about it [ comparing stories ]. Then there is attention that no one asks for. Attention that isn’t in their control; rumors. Today’s ‘kids’ [ lets say; ages 14-18 ] constantly talk. They NEED to know everything, along with every stupid detail; pictures included. The information they have no need knowing, ever. THEY NEVER KEEP QUIET. As soon as someone says, ‘don’t tell anyone’ its like a challenge for them to see how many people can find out, so they tell their friend, who tells their friend, and so on. Just because you ‘hear’ something, doesn’t mean it is true; but I am super glad your ears work. I do not know if it is a pride issue, or they way people raised their kids. [ but PEOPLE WONDER WHY KIDS GET BULLIED!! ]
I have had to stop countless inappropriate conversations lately that were essentially offensive to me as a female, even when they weren’t even about me. Just the context brought up and what was said to a greater extent, was offensive. I am greatly disturbed by some of today’s society. By no means am I perfect and stay out of every single issue, but I know when it is right to stand up for whatever it is that is bothering me and/or leaving them all for the wolves. Some people do not have boundaries, and are open about everything; that’s fantastic and I am glad people can be super comfortable. But make sure while speaking you’re not offending people in the process. Be careful who you share your information with.
[ … calming down ]
DON’T BELITTLE PEOPLE & HAVE SOME DAMN RESPECT!