I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.

Do you think before you make a promise to someone? Little or big?

Do you think people are too casual about making promise? Too confident in themselves?

What if you can’t deliver on your word? Does it really matter to you? What about them?

The world isn’t going to come to an end, is it? Well, actually no, but have you considered how other people interpret what you promise them?


Many people are pretty spontaneous and overly confident about making most promises. As a result, promises are constantly made at the drop of a hat with no real intention of keeping them, intentional or not. Little promises like ‘let’s go for lunch,’ ‘I will talk to you later,’ or ‘I will see you soon’; are all examples of throwaway promises that we often make but seldom keep. [ this casual attitude can have some real consequences.] When you break a promise, no matter how small it may seem to you [ small issues for you, bigger to others ], alarms aren’t going to go off, but it can damage a relationship of any kind or even just your reputation. Think about it; when someone else breaks a promise to you, or gets caught in a lie, doesn’t that make you feel betrayed or cheated? You can’t help wondering whether you were wrong to ever trust that person to begin with; every once deserves a chance but something like those little broken promises could be that last break of trust. Getting away with a lie is also very dangerous because it makes the people lying believe they are invincible and that they have a little chance of being caught. Before you know it, lying can become a habit, forcing liars to spend precious time and energy keeping their stories straight. Once others learn about the lies, some people may forgive, but they surely won’t forget. EVER!

A promise is a damn promise, I don’t care who you are; if you make a promise you best be planning to keep that promise. Some people apply an important to non-important scale to promises, believing that breaking a big promise is inexcusable, while a small one is acceptable. That’s simply false. [ the small promises WILL build up, and smack you in the face and become a BIG issue ] While breaking a big promise, such as failing to repay borrowed money, can crash a relationship, breaking your word on promises, such as being on time, puts a little bit of doubt on yet to come behavior; time and time again.

Trust is built through a chain of experiences shared with others. When behavior is consistent, faith in the relationship develops. When promises are broken, or people are lied to [ big or small ], the bonds of trust are breached; second thought or doubted. Broken promises imply that the initiator of these so called promises either didn’t think before making the promises, or don’t care that they’ve let you down [ selfish and conceded people ]. They’re also implying that their needs are more important than yours. So, in the end, be careful about the promises that you make and with who you make them with. Never promise the moon. If you can’t keep a promise, don’t make it. For example, you can’t guarantee that you’ll arrive in two hours, but you can promise that you’re going to leave at 10am; you can’t promise anyone sunny weather, but you can promise to hold the umbrella open for them if it rains. [ its the efforts, and good intentions; something some people just can’t grasp ]

Some broken promises are excusable. If you can’t deliver something on time because of an uncontrollable event, most people will understand that the delay was unintentional. On the other hand, breaking a promise intentionally [ oversleeping; or just simply your own stupidity ] is different; you’ll have to face the consequences. When you distort the truth by exaggerating, spinning the truth, or withholding key facts, you also weaken your reliability for the opportunity people will give you in the future. Half the truth is often a whole lie. Lying comes in many forms. Some people exaggerate or stretch the truth to make something look more attractive [ sweetie, you can look good and have an ugly heart ]. Others say what they want to say by presenting selected facts that support their position, to make themselves look good, telling the littlest amount of truth they can. Withholding key facts is also lying; it’s clearly meant to deceive others. When you tell a lie, everything that you say in the future may be treated as suspect; people will doubt you.

When people are dishonest, they send the messages and actions out that they lied because either they don’t have a strong case, or they have something to hide. Once they’re caught in the act, liars will find that others may start requesting everything in writing, may start looking over their shoulder, and may question their motives. Most importantly, after they lie, everything said from that point forward won’t carry the same credibility as to when you could have been honest to begin with. [ I mean seriously people, keeping your lies in a line is probably HARDER than just telling the truth to START with!! ] You’re judged by the company you keep. When people cover for the misdemeanor of others, they’re as guilty as those who committed the ‘crimes.’ If you’re tempted to cover for someone else, first consider whether it’s worthwhile to put your own reputation on the line for anyone who’s undeserving of your good name. [ have good intentions, but also be good to yourself, you’re people too ]

There was a time when keeping your word held special significance. People took great pride in being a good human being. Personal integrity was both expected and valued. That was a time when everyone knew each other’s family, and you wouldn’t do anything that would cast a shadow on your family’s good name. It was a time when integrity was instilled in children at a very early age and was viewed as influence in achieving great success. The truth is, our world has changed, people’s morals have slipped out the window, but the importance of integrity has not. While we may not know everyone in our own town, the world is still smaller than you think. [ Create some bad news and you’ll learn this for yourself. It will be wildfire in a minute ]

Every time you give your word, you’re putting your honor and your name on the line. You’re implying that others can place their trust in you because you ACTUALLY value integrity and would never let them down. It goes without saying that if you don’t live up to your word, you may end up corrupting your integrity, damaging your relationships, and slandering your reputation. Most importantly, you’ll be letting yourself down and in due time, IT WILL BE SO DAMAGING.

But… when you go through life with complete integrity and honesty, what you say will be taken at face value, your intentions will be assumed honorable, and your handshake will be as good as a contract. Most importantly, you can take great pride in the standards that you’ve set for yourself and sleep well at night knowing that your conscience is clear. As for others; just when they think they’re fooling the world, they’ll realize that they’re only fooling themselves.

A promise is a promise after all.



One thought on “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.

  1. Ok ok, now I am positive you are “in my head”. I think it took me getting “sick” and losing many physical abilities for me to comprehend how much My Word or promise meant to me though. Both are things that I can control, but I honestly, didn’t think much about it until they were the ONLY things I could control.


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