We want everyone to like us, but in reality we shouldn’t. As social creatures in this world, we are concerned, often to a fault, with whether or not we are enjoyed, appreciated, and respected by those around us. [ but does it really matter? ] We are succumbed to the impulses of others, hoping to please everyone [ or at least find few enemies, nailed that one on the head ]. We try to behave sociably, make the correct remark, and laugh at the appropriate times, all for the sake of winning the fancy of our peers. [ kind of unpleasing to write about ]
The approval of others becomes a top social significance and controls many of our actions. At some point or another, most of us surrender to this tendency to butter the rest of mankind’s bread, which is fine. It’s natural to do so. But, we must proceed with caution, or at least more caution then we do. You see, investing ourselves too fully into how others perceive us can have terrible consequences. [ aka, it will bite you in the ass ]
We are all guilty. Every day from the moment we wake up, we live our lives caring what other people think of us. We accept the current situation for what it is because everyone around us does. We tip toe our way through life by doing things to please others, not because it’s what we believe in. Eventually our actions, appearances, and lives become molded by how we think other people perceive us. How are these pants going to make me look? What will my friends think if I spoke up? Are those people talking shit behind my back? If I take this job, what will my friends and family think of me? [ it can go on forever ] Just writing this paragraph gives me a headache. It’s exhausting. It’s dreadful. It should stop. Living a life that follows the ideal concepts of what other people think is a terrible way to live. It makes you become the spineless human being who waits for other people to take action first. It makes you become a follower, sometimes not a bad thing [ BUT PEOPLE STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, YOU DO YOU BOO!!! ]. The worst part of all of this is, it makes you become someone who doesn’t take a stand for anything they believe in for themselves.
Believe it or not, we are not that special. We go through our days thinking about how other people might be judging us. But the truth is, those people are thinking the exact same thing we are, in that exact moment. No one in today’s “smartphone induced coma” has time in their schedule to think more than a brief second about us. They are busy, always busy. The fact of the matter is, when we do have the time get our thoughts straight, we are too busy thinking about ourselves and our own limitations, not others. Even when provided with the obvious opportunity to judge someone, people are still thinking about how others may perceive them first. Once you understand that this is how people’s minds works, it’s a big step towards freedom.
It’s impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations, you can only be stretched so far. There will always be people; no matter what we say or how we treat them, that will judge us. Whether you are at the gym, at work, taking the public transportation, or even online playing Call of Duty. Even now it’s happening. You will never be able to stop people from judging you, but you can stop it from affecting you.
Think about the worst thing that could possibly happen when someone is judging you or what you’re doing. I guarantee that chances are, nothing will happen. Absolutely nothing, until you react to the nonsense. No one is going to go out of their busy lives to confront us, or even react for that matter. [ And if they do, I bet they just want the attention that comes with it ]. What will eventually happen is that these people will actually respect you for claiming your ground. They may disagree with you, but they’ll respect you. Start standing up for what you believe in. You’re going to have people that disagree with you anyways and always, so why not express how you truly feel? I’ve learned that it’s better to be loved by a few people you care about, then to be liked by everyone. These are family, friends, your spouse; the people who love you for who you are, and the people who will be there for you during your worst times. Focus on these people. They’re the only people that matter. [ the other bullshit that goes around isn’t worth turn of your head or the blink of your eyes ]
Worrying too much about what other people think can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because the way we think starts to become the way we behave.
Believe it or not there are people out there that become people pleasers and are overly obliging to others, thinking it will stop them from being judged. Nope. Not true. The quite opposite. Most people don’t like push-overs and are turned off by it. The behavior that is used to attempt to please others, can actually cause the opposing effect. Basically, meaning that if you are a so called push-over, then you are going to be attracting others in your life who are also push-overs; and vice versa. This can become a dangerous path to go down if you don’t recognize or see the consequences.
Essentially, we as humans need to know and stand for what is important to us in life, what we truly value, and what we are ultimately aiming for in the end game. Once you know who you really are and what matters to you, what other people think of you becomes significantly less important. When you know your values, you’ll have something to stand up for, something you believe in. You’ll stop saying yes to everything. Instead, you’ll learn to say no when friends pressure you to do something, or when a tempting opportunity distracts you. When you have your values straight, you have your shit straight.
The world is already full of people who obey the status quo. But the people who don’t give a fuck are the ones that change the world. Be the latter. Start living life the way you want, be fearless like you once were as a child, and always, always stand up for the truth. Someone has to, it starts with you.