if you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape.

There is no real need to explain yourself to others. The time that you waste trying to explain yourself and your motives to others can be better spent focusing on your desired outcome, working on it and achieving it. There is a natural need for other people to control situations that don’t include them and manage things even when they have no need to be involved, it is therefore [ somehow ] expected that others will feel that you have to explain yourself to them.

Don’t let others intimidate you into having to explain yourself to them, not everyone or anyone needs to know everything. Since most of us grew up with parents or parental like figures, we tend to find it normal to have to explain ourselves and our reasons to seniors that surround us. This is a good thing when you are a child and you require someone to take care of you and show you the ways of life. There is a point in life though, when this kind of supervision is no longer required. [ grow up; logic and common sense is required, sorry ] If you are an adult [ or close too ] then you just have to realize emotionally that you do not need direction from superiors anymore. It is actually a difficult thing for many of us to accept emotionally. Even though we can understand this intellectually, emotionally we still have the need to express our reasons. As much as we shouldn’t care about other’s opinions, we do anyways.

The lower your self esteem is, the more that you will feel that you have to tell others what you are doing, how you’re doing it or why you thought of it in the first place. If you work on how you feel about yourself then you will realize that you are a ‘free’ adult, to live your life how you choose and no one needs to be given an instruction manual as to what you are doing and everything else to follow; you are beholden to no one. When you have the need to explain yourself away, stop and ask yourself why you believe and feel this way. Logically, think about your current situation and determine for yourself whether or not the person before you needs an explanation of your circumstances, life or reasoning. There are times, like when you are in a job, or in other certain settings , [ like when you are doing something for someone else ], when you need to explain yourself. But if you use a logical and objective mind, you will see that there are also many times when there is no need for you to explain yourself. Why do they need to know anyways? People twist words, people like drama and what they don’t know doesn’t kill them; so, leave them for the dead. [ they obviously are supposed to be there ]

Most people will try and influence your doings and motives, because dramatic people need a reason to speak. MOST [ very few lately ] have very good intentions and they are trying to help you out, that is, until you become a threat to them. Unfortunately, this help is seldom needed or appreciated but they will push you anyways. You can’t learn anything by having others control your actions, you need to learn by doing things on your own and the greatest gift that anyone can give you is the gift of freedom to try for yourself. [ my mother always told me; ‘you don’t know until you try’. And as an adult/mother I have taken that to heart ] Good intentions, or not, most people have not realized such an easy clarification in keeping their own business in order before worrying about someone else, so it is up to you to stop their well groomed snooping, gossiping and interference.

Stay positive [ as positive as you can be ] and learn to realize that you are important enough to have the freedom to pursue your own path, whatever that might be. No one needs to give you a gold star or approval with every decision you make. This life is your life to succeed or fail in. Failure is not a bad thing as long as you personally learned or experienced something that you needed. Stop believing that you need to explain yourself to others and have a strong focus and a strong personal attitude so that you are not deviated from your desires. We all know that it is human nature to want to be accepted, and it’s natural to want people to understand where we’re coming from. In the process of wanting to feel understood, it’s easy to avoid making a bold statement for fear of what the listener might think, so instead we offer up information that only gets in the way of the point we’re trying to make. [ sugar coating your story ] Peoples feelings are often WAY less affected by our decisions than we think; they just want to talk, its a human’s second nature. When in reality, they should be busy thinking about their own lives and choices instead of worrying about ours. It can be scary to be bold or blunt because there’s a potential risk of making someone feel bad. It’s much easier to make vague statements especially those in which will spark an argument. Conflict is scary and uncomfortable, so naturally, we are going to do things [ even unknowingly ] to avoid it sometimes. A little-known trick used in most situations is the art of silence. Someone asks you a question, lets you answer but keeps a little moment of suspenseful silence before speaking again. This is where that person starts blabbing and things get awkward. There’s no need to fill the silence after a statement because that’s usually when over-explaining takes place. Be comfortable with a beat of silence after you’ve made your statement, but also before you start talking. Sometimes arguments are inevitable; use your best judgement.

Silence is your golden friend here. Try and develop the discipline necessary not to tell everyone about your doings. Think before you speak; you wonder why you have a bad reputation; well, simple; shut your mouth. This is the simplest and best way to get others to stop telling you what to do or how you live your life. People will assume you are a character of habit and thrive for them noticing and wanting to know your every move. Basically, humans need to get over the perceived obligation to explain themselves. Stay focused on your desired outcome and let others be; in doing so they will let you be. If you do happen to run across someone that needs to give you advice, take it with a grain of salt; be open minded. If you think the person has something positive to share; embrace it, but remember to develop laser like focus on your motives ahead so that you are not deviated from them.

Being noticed is so close to being loved, that sometimes they feel the same. Being ignored is just as powerful. Some times some people just DON’T NEED TO KNOW!



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