you are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.

Many of us do not figure out exactly how strong we are until we’re in a situation that leaves us with no other choice but to be strong.

in·tim·i·da·tion – lets break it down

There are some characteristics of strong and daunting personality types that often invite [ unwanted ] attention [ be it positive or negative ], they really don’t care for and they are not about to go out of their way to seek it out either. They prefer to focus on their own being, making sure that whatever needs to get done gets done, and that it’s done well. They’ve put in the time and effort to learn and understand as much of the world as possible, something that requires an open mind. So, when you are willfully ignorant, artificial or judgmental, strong personality types will not tolerate it or align.

You can’t always know exactly what someone thinks about you, but oftentimes there are some signs that, if you can pick up on them, they will give you a clue as to what they’re thinking. [ even when they ‘hide’ ] And though you might not consider yourself an especially intimidating or scary person, [ *eyeroll* ] if you pay close attention, you might notice that some of the people with who you’re dealing are sending you signs that they’re a bit afraid of you and what you bring to the table.

  • You have confirmation: Your friends didn’t like you originally, they told you [ now ] they didn’t, but now that they know you, you’re really not that bad. [ it becomes something you can play on ]
  • People refuse to make eye contact with you for long periods; they look away and keep their glances short.
  • You have an aggressive and confrontational demeanor. [ not sorry ] You don’t start fights, but you’re known to assert yourself when necessary. You say what you mean and you mean what you say.
  • You’re an individualist, you’re not afraid to say “No.” You know what you want and what you don’t want. You don’t follow the crowd.
  • You move the moon and the stars to make things happen. You don’t settle for anything less than what you had planned. When shit goes downhill you don’t take it easy. For some reason people don’t like ‘doers’, they’re seen as opportunists or too selfish. [ within reason ]
  • You [ we all ] have had that one super nice acquaintance that secretly hates you but showers you with tons of compliments, plays with your hair, and a lot of other deceitful behavior. You know what’s up, but it’s easier to just be pleasant because you’ve been considered being a bitch for too long on one too many occasions. This person is the first person to try to make you feel bad when you’re feeling vulnerable and will use your situation to their own insecure advantage. [ enter Sadie’s famous peace sign attached to her face ]
  • People misunderstand you. You don’t set out to offend anyone but at the same time you don’t care what people think. Your ideas, beliefs and shared views usually range from crazy to bat-shit crazy, extreme even. You don’t need anyone to validate your authenticity, you just continue being yourself. If anyone has a problem they can remove themselves from your life. Let’s face it; social networking has brought on more judgments. And if it offends you, or you think its about you; guilty is charged my friend.
  • You’re okay with being alone and it’s obvious that you enjoy your own company. Your circles start off small and remain small. Society drives people to want other’s acceptance, we are bred that way. To be liked is more desired than the desire to be successful. When you seek out social acceptance all the time it’s like sleeping with partner after partner. You give away little pieces of yourself each time until there’s nothing left. [ and you still feel like shit; should have listened the first time. ‘I told you so’ ]
  • You walk into a room and know immediately how people feel about you. It is all in their eyes, not only do they avoid eye contact but when they do make eye contact, it’s not a welcoming and pleasant look. Every fiber of your being tells you who you should be careful with because they don’t have the best intentions. You have never done anything to a directed person yet, your gut feels negatively when you’re near them. This is the person who will like and comment on your posts on Facebook and when you see them in real life they will say hi and avoid you, one up you every chance they get or walk past you and act like you’re not even there. You are under their skin even though you are unsure why regardless of how nice you are to them.

Though sometimes it might be beneficial for you for people to be a little bit intimidated, chances are you’re not looking for everyone to fear you all the time, or at all. [ or maybe you are, who knows ] Those people will often try to immediately and [ so they think ] subtly put you down, especially in a comparison to themselves which makes them look superior to you in a childish, mundane, stupid way. When this happens repeatedly, even two or three times, there’s not much question that, that person is slightly intimidated and feels inferior to you. Unique personalities are very much intimidating to people but having that personality has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with how people perceive you. It’s important, however, to be aware of  how people perceive you; so that you can ENJOY engaging relationships and understand where others are coming from. It’s good to know where you stand so you can decide how you want the world to see you.

While being that someone people can count on should be a good thing, many people are intimidated by the idea that you do what you said you would do. This often makes others look bad because let’s face it, more often than not, people slack off in certain areas of their life. When you are open to hearing different points of view and arguments, from both sides of the parties; it tends to make people uncomfortable. You say what you mean and mean what you say. You tell it like it is and that doesn’t always sit well with others. [ oops… ] People are so closed off some times that when someone comes along and calls bullshit on their way of thinking, they don’t fancy it; and so, they try to protect themselves with pity and self loathing. But for you, rather than sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself, you act and find what you can for a solution to the problems. Some people will never understand why you can’t let things go. Its exhausting for others to understand and can take up a great deal of your time.

Above all else, you do not tolerate people who are ignorant. Willful ignorance is the worst. Someone who knows better but chooses to believe the worst things they hear without questioning it for themselves just solidifies their own stupidity. You don’t have time for that, and it makes you the outcast sometimes.

People who sit around and complain about life instead of getting up and living life aren’t worth your time. You will walk away from people who have nothing better to do than whine about life. You are out there battling tigers with a nerf gun, and you know that can be intimidating for some people who are afraid of what might happen if they took the leap of faith you have. You can walk into a room and size it up for what it is. You can talk to people from all walks of life and can carry on a conversation even if its over your head because you listen to what people are saying. There’s people who won’t like that; but hey, that their problem when they have to pretend to engage. [ those people who go overboard, trying to be all wise; like no, go back to bed Barbra, you’re drunk… ]

You know when it’s time to take a break and pay attention to those that matter most to you. No matter how big or small someone is in your life, you make sure they know you care about them. It’s this balance that makes you the most intimidating to people: you can get stuff done and you are a nice person? Well, damn; genuine human beings, who would have thought.

Regardless of what people think of you, you know that what is important is what you think of yourself and where you are going. So, despite the fact that you might be upsetting a few people along your way, you don’t really care. Your strong personality allows you to live the life you want without regret. Everything else is not your problem.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because in the end those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter – Dr Suess

Don’t change; kill them with KINDNESS anyway. 

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