I think just about everyone can agree that unreciprocated love is one of the worst feelings imaginable, temporary or not; it hurts. The pain of becoming attached to someone in a way that isn’t mutual can be so unbelievably, emotionally traumatizing. When you like/love someone who doesn’t love you back, it can take a while to accept that it is not essentially possible for things to end up working out. [ or they are just making you run circles (and you fall for it), and they will swoop in when they feel necessary. It’ll keep going, and they will play your emotions ] It can be so easy to convince ourselves that their feelings could change in the future, but more often than not this isn’t what ends up happening. [ but walking away is easier said than done ] This false hope can lead to a vicious cycle of pain, frustration, and disappointment; a far cry from what a balanced and genuine relationship should be.
Not only is putting time and effort into a person who doesn’t love you unfair, it can also be the major obstacle standing in the way of finding possible love with someone who is capable of loving you. [ or you can just decide to give up, ultimately your decision ] Unfortunately, we can’t always control who we fall in love with, which is why it’s so important to recognize when an attachment isn’t mutual. By being honest with yourself, you can finally break the cycle of negativity that often results from loving someone who simply doesn’t feel the same way.
We all can probably think of a time when we liked someone who didn’t like us back. However, having a crush on someone versus actually being in love with them are two completely different things. It can happen to anyone. If you’re dating but not in a genuine relationship, trying to move things forward in the hopes that their feelings will eventually catch up could be a bad idea.
“The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of person exists only in our imaginations.”
– Scott Adams
It might be difficult to accept that the person you love doesn’t love you, but accepting their feelings for what they are is the first step to moving on. It’s also important to remind yourself that despite how much you love them, you deserve to be loved in return and there are definitely people out there who can give you that. [ show them what they lost or let go aggressively/dramatically ] Just remember that while it might be hurtful, their lack of feelings is in no way a reflection of your desirability. Chances are, they just aren’t the right person for you [ or they are blind and selfish ], don’t keep guessing. And even though that, that is a shot right to the heart. It’s so much better to put your feelings on the line, find out if the other person is on the same page as you or not, and be with them or move on. It doesn’t always hurt to try, you find out truths better that way.
We are well aware that the brain has no restart button, emergency exit, or even a window you could open to let the fresh breeze in and air out your sorrows. The brain is stubborn, precise, and persistent. But being just as stubborn as a human can be; we sit there and hope and wait to see that maybe something in an other person’s brain will match yours.
They say that loving someone without them loving you back is like trying to light a candle with an unlit match. And we don’t really know why we do it. We persist and resist, thinking distorted thoughts like, “if I tell him this, he might…” or “if I change this, it’s possible that…” as if this would achieve anything, it would have already and this wouldn’t be an issue. Change is hard, and people don’t like change.
The person you lose is in no way unique, as you can easily get another one just as good as him or her, maybe even someone better [ in time ].
If you fight hard and someone twists their head for you and its actually a good turn around, and you succeed. Disregard all of this. You beat the majority of everything else. You’re a lucky human being. I hope it works out for you.
However, love isn’t a vending machine. You can’t put in a coin, press a button, and get the thing you wanted. [ unless you are a slut, you get what you want in the worst way possible and ruin everything else. But you don’t care about feelings ] Sometimes, there’s no other remedy than to take the plunge, forget all your false hopes and stop killing yourself over someone who’s gone in a complete different direction with other people, playing them like they played you. The usual common issue is about you not wanting to let go of your feelings, your obsession and your comfort within this person.
Remember: it’s a bit difficult to make someone accountable for something that’s a grand illusion in your head when you could be holding them accountable for real behaviours [ they spoke of ]. People say what you want to hear, and not mean it; to likely get what they want. Their intentions are greatly different than what came across. Tread lightly. Equally, you can’t wonder why someone isn’t being and feeling what you want them to when they’re not part of the relationship [ in your head, the relationship they put there; in your imagination ].
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Whether ‘you were their fish’ or not. It is how convenient you are to them, at that time. [ cool right? ]
Stop calling, chasing, and texting. Actions speak louder than words.
No more seeing a bread loaf when there’s barely a crumb.
Stop waiting, hoping, and projecting.
Stop the madness. That’s the madness of thinking that this is what you have to settle for: an illusionary relationship.
You may feel like a random player in a very chaotic game, one you cannot win, even when you were promised the world. If it was real, you’d know; you wouldn’t be looking and desiring it.
Stop breaking your own heart. [ For all you know you could be wrong. ]